Friday, July 27, 2007

The Secret of Life

If you, like many other people, are anxious because you do not know what you are supposed to do with your life, if you are looking into mysticism, the occult, metaphysics, and so forth trying to find out what your purpose in life is, then look no further. There is a reason why you were put on this planet, it's for the same reason we are all here, to be happy. Plain and simple, no 4 page explanation digging into quantum physics or exploring the prophecies of the Mayan calendar.

You are living right now and I guarantee eventually you won't be. This means that for a limited time you can do stuff and I recommend FUN STUFF!!

We are designed by nature to pursue pleasure and happiness. When we do something we consider good like aceing a test, we get a rush adrenaline, we feel pumped, we smile, we begin to exude confidence, we feel good, we are HAPPY. On the other hand, if we find out our significant other is being unfaithful, we feel cheated, enraged, we bow our heads, we cry, we lament, we are SAD. This is our body's response to external stimuli, and as we can all tell, our bodies want good things to happen to us, which is why it rewards us with all these awesome feelings. On the other hand it punishes us, if you will, with negative emotions when “bad” things happen, this is to deter us from doing them and to have us minimize the chances of having them occur.

There are 2 kinds of happiness: Temporary, derived from pleasure, like sex, drugs, food and the like and Long term, comes slowly with time. The big difference between these two is quite simple: Temporary happiness is produced by dopamine which is quickly broken down in the body, so when you have your favorite meal, you feel absolutely great until a few minutes after your done. Then you feel pretty much the same as you did before eating.Long term happiness is what endorphins produce, and you get this when you have worked for something and finally get it, like finishing med school or being a good parent, this happiness can last a lifetime.

Both these happinesses are great and we should get as much of both as possible, here are 10 easy steps to help you archive happinesses:

  1. Enjoy life, it's doesn't matter if you are a US soldier in Irak or an heir to the throne, you CAN make the best out of all situations if you try hard enough. There are plenty of stories of kids and adults having “fun” in extermination camps during the Nazi regime, it's all in your head.

  2. Laugh and smile as much as you can, be happy, remember it comes from within, you have the amazing ability to “create” happiness out of nothing.

  3. Have goals, it doesn't matter if they are easy or hard, short term or long term, we are happier when we have things to look forward to.

  4. Lead a healthy life, this encompasses a natural balanced diet, exercise and overall healthy lifestyle, your body will reward you for it, you'll feel much better when you are in shape.

  5. Have faith, you can be an Atheist, a Christian or Muslim, whatever you are will do, so long as you believe in something and feel that love, regardless of where it comes from if you believe it, it's there.

  6. Make others happy, when you make people around you happy, it makes you even happier, try it, tell a really good joke to a group of friends, you'll be glad you did.

  7. Avoid negative thoughts, these thoughts turn into negative feelings which defeat out main goal which is feeling good.

  8. Be gratefully, no matter how bad your situation is, it's usually much better than that of many other folks, so be thankful for small blessings, they tend to add up!!

  9. Love your life, love everything about it, your bed, your, house your wife (yes even her!!) your body, your family, your friends, the trees, the pets, EVERYTHING, when you love you ARE happy.

  10. Don't waste time, you are here for a limited amount of seconds, seize the day, don't let your mind wander, you NEED to be happy, allowing your mind to fly away and not make you feel good is not time well spent.

I hope these tips to the trick and remember, you DO have the power to be happy, USE it!!

BS quotes and then some.

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. No elected body is the country, we are the country. You and me. Us. It can only stay that way as long as we care to keep it so. A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. Page yourself over the intercom. Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. Ask people what sex they are to be sure. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it. All right, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me -- so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. Always ask people what sex they are. Some books fill a much-needed gap. Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being. I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money - but long on hugs. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. While we are postponing, life speeds by. Don't be so humble - you are not that great. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Each encounter that becomes a friendship turns into a lifeline. One can never have too many, only too many to properly take care of. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with applications such as that old stand-by...Lingerie 6.9 (which has been credited with improved performance of his hardware). A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. The quality of the moment is more important than the number of our days. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think." When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN." My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. Who so loves believes the impossible Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. When ideas fail, words come in very handy. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. If you are going through hell, keep going. Luck is the residue of design. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors. A witty saying proves nothing. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money - but long on hugs. Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

Facts are the enemy of truth. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. Take away love and our earth is a tomb. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Who so loves believes the impossible. This book fills a much-needed gap. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. Solitude, if rightly used, becomes not only a privilege but a necessity. Only a superficial soul fears to fraternize with itself. Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. Did i repeat my BS again. Who knows what BS is, unless they see it. Seeing is believing.